thedailywhat:

Follow Up of the Day: Tommy Jordan, the former Marine who made waves last week with a video of himself putting his own laptop out of its misery, was visited by Child Protective Services officials as well as local police officers in the wake of his Internet stardom.

The Child Services agents reportedly interviewed the Stanly County, NC man and his daughter separately, but took no action. The police, however, did have something to say to Jordan: “Kudos.”

“I actually had a “thank you” from an entire detectives squad,” Jordan wrote in a Facebook post published over the weekend. “And another police officer is using it in a positive manner in his presentation for the school system. How’s about those apples? Didn’t expect THAT when you called the cops did you?”

Many people apparently called to ask Albermarle police what was being done about the angry dad, but were told there was nothing that could be done as Jordan lives outside city limits, and therefore outside police jurisdiction.

Speaking with Channel 9, a Stanly County Sheriff’s Office spox said Jordan broke no laws, and an investigation would not be launched.

[wsoctv.]

DON’T MESS WITH NORTH CAROLINA, YA’LL!

Happy Valentine’s Day To Yourself by Bryce Warner

A special Valentine’s Day card you can print out yourself for… yourself. Just make sure you dont get jealous that you’re giving yourself too much attention. You’re very unlikable when you get like that. Gyad, you hate you.

Artist: deviantart / facebook

(via ianbrooks)

ianbrooks:

Man Walks On Fucking Moon from The Onion

Immortalize the historic moment in time when the Universe got just a little bit smaller. That day when, step by step, humans first walked on the fuggin moon, bro!! I mean, that’s all the goddamn way out there in space!! How does this shit happen. Framed print available for purchase at theonion’s store.

This reads like a Whitest Kids U Know skit.

Burritos by Poorly Drawn Lines. (via ianbrooks)

See also: pizza, hot dogs, ugly girls, any fast food.